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Terrible Swede the "Earthy" Lutheran Blog vs The Largest Filipino on Earth vs "The Fluffy"
Doctrinal differences are important to the Lutherans because at the root of every false doctrine is the devil, seeking to destroy the Gospel.

Monday, April 02, 2007 AD

You Can't Tell Me...

...(Dan the Geologist or others) that Martin Luther never once said to Katie Luther, his wife,

"What are you thinking, Bitch?"

Clarification Required (for my safety): I wanted to demostrate the incredibly vast chasm in men's and women's thinking processes. Reference here.

Monday, March 26, 2007 AD

I Will Be Waking...

...from my drunken stupor and begin blogging soon. Dumbasses are raising their ugly heads again.

Sunday, December 17, 2006 AD

Two Words That Should Never Be Used Together...

..."Lutefisk" and "temptation".

The context would be Swedish cookbooks. But does that matter?

Tuesday, December 05, 2006 AD

Metal vs. McCain's Pietism

Since the Dawn of Time
One genre of music has ruled with an iron fist: Heavy Metal

You can't kill the metal
The metal will live on

Punk rock tried to kill the metal
But they failed as they were smited to the ground

New wave tried to kill the metal
But they failed as they were stricken down to the ground

Grunge tried to kill the metal
Hahahahaha they failed as they were thrown to the ground

(Screaming) Aiieee Aiieee

No one can destroy the metal
The metal will strike you down with a vicious blow
We are the vanquished foes of the metal
We tried to win for why we do not know

New wave tried to destroy the metal
But the metal had its way
Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal
But the metal was in the way
Punk rock tried to destroy the metal
But the metal was in the way
Punk rock tried to destroy the metal
But metal was much too strong
Techno tried to defile the metal
But techno was proven wrong

It comes from hell

Slow mo
Iron Maiden, Judas Priest
Satanic dog pile! Satanic dog pile!

Google results: here.

I'd like to include this verse:

Pastor Paul McCain's pietism tried to destroy the metal
The metal had it's way with him

If you're gonna talk shit on a layman, Pr. McCain - you could at least tell me (with a courtesy link or even an email).

Pastor McCain, WhyTF, are you doing this? We use to talk cordially on Table Talk. You can contact my pastor: Michael Brockman of Christ Ev. Lutheran, in Hutchinson, KS, if you have a problem with the way I live (which you know so little.) You cannot judge a person by his blog - a blogging fundamental.

WTF does righteousness look like? I know exactly what it does NOT look like.

(BTW, there is a good and bad pietism. The good is useful to society and the bad is detrimental to the Christian.)

Saturday, November 25, 2006 AD

Gears of War - Mad World (Extended Version)

Verse 1
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows
No tomorrow, No tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
These dreams in which i’m dying, Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad World, Mad World

Verse 2
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And they feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, Look right through me

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i’m dying, Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it’s a very very
Mad World, Mad World

One day, I'll have my own game system. One day.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 AD

Got This One from Kung Fu Master Reed...

Sunday, November 19, 2006 AD

Beer with Turkey?!? You Bet!

...The caramelized and toasted grain flavors in beer compliment those of roast turkey.
Think of Oktoberfest or brown ale.

Herbal hop additions pair nicely with popular holiday seasonings such as sage.
Think of amber ale or ESB.

The carbonation, fruitiness and balanced bitterness of craft beers stand up to creamy, butter-rich preparations like mashed potatoes, creamed corn and similar fare.
Think of an all-malt pilsner, a dark lager or red ale.

The Pilgrims were ale drinkers and most likely enjoyed beer at the first Thanksgiving. Indeed, a darkish ale has been brewed for feasts at Plymouth Plantation, the "living museum" of Pilgrim life, in Massachusetts.

That’s why more and more savvy Americans tap a great beer as the perfect companion for their holiday meal.

Beer Beats Wine When You Dine
According the Garrett Oliver, author of “The Brewmaster’s Table” the question most often posed to sommeliers is “What wine goes best with turkey dinner?” The answer, he says, is beer! The range of beers available from craft brewers today offer special flavors suitable for a celebration, from pale ales and amber lagers like Oktoberfest to brown ales, Scotch ales and porters as well as fruitier, herbal selections like dubbel, tripel and biere de garde.Be sure to visit the site here for more beer and Thanskgiving ideas.

More Macabre...

...Than you can shake a stick at.

This evening will be filled with more dread for the dead. Wicked Little Things (thanks Mrs. Hamilton for the link!) (official site DNE) is about some little (and ferocious) zombie children.

Then come The Hamiltons (official site here) - the cannabilistic family coming to a neighborhood near you.

Finally, my rapping hero, Snoop Dogg, in his first horror film: Hood of Horror (official site DNE). From the Dogg's movie:

"I talked to God. He told me to tell all you guys: He doesn't give a shit."

This Blog Is Best View With...

...Mozilla's Firefox or Apple's Safari. Microsoft products suck and can kiss my big round brown ass.

Saturday, November 18, 2006 AD

Horror Fest 2006

...Sweet! Horror Fest came to Wichita at the Premiere Palace and I didn't have to go to Topeka, KS, to see it. Nice.

WTF is Horror Fest? Glad you asked! From the site: "Each year there are movies produced that are never seen by the public. There content is considered too graphic, too disturbing and too shocking for general audiences."

As most of you know, I love horror/slasher movies. I had to supress that desire when I was a non-Lutheran because it was considered un-Christian. (But as you know, a Lutheran doesn't have to do everything Christian.) Most of these movies make Saw and Hostel look like a virgin.

Any ways, I got to see Dark Ride (official link here) last nite (by myself - Mrs. T.Swede can't stand the horror genre.) The manager let me in late after the doors were closed and locked and I got in for the matinee cost! Great flick! Plays off the revenge/haunted house/psycho-family motif.

I'll get to see two more before the poker game and one after it. Before the game: The Grave Dancers (official link here); The Abandoned (official link DNE). After the game: Penny Dreadful (official link here).

To the macabre!

Poker/Beer Tonight

...and Dan the Geologist and The Intolerant (the newlyweds and WELS friends) are hosting! Bring a chair and your choice of beer. I always get mine from Goebel's.

Oh! They also have a new blog as a result of their marriage: Random Intolerance.

UPDATE: The vicar kicked our ass.

Friday, November 10, 2006 AD

The Church's Function...

...Dean the Canadian, is not primarily to serve the poor but to rightly administer the Sacraments. Then it can not only help the poor but the whole community.

"Come! Taste and see where I get the gifts of God from!" is true evangelism.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006 AD

To Get A Hold of Me...

...Please either pick up my email address from my profile (which you may find surprising) that is on the side bar or here.

Or just try this: t (dot) swede (funny symbol) gmail (dot) com.

There's one last way, too: near the bottom of the side bar, WDT "OleLuth777@aol.com": YoungLutheran666@GoingToHell.Com

Monday, November 06, 2006 AD

Albrecht Durer or "A.D."...

...Is one fascinating artist - his self portraits. We see his artwork every week in our church bulletins. Pr. Brockman likes to use his woodcuts a lot. Pr. Brockman shared with us a book by Durer last Sunday in our Bible hour class. Here's the cover of the book:

We loved it so much we bought our own copy of it here and picked it up yesterday.

Why are Lutherans sympathetic to Durer? Because he was symapthetic to Luther. From Wiki:

"It is clear from his writings that Dürer was highly sympathetic to Luther, and he may have been influential in the City Council declaring for Luther in 1525. However, he died before religious divisions had hardened into different churches, and may well have regarded himself as a reform-minded Catholic to the end."

Wiki says he even did some mathematics. He was a Renaissance Man - a dying breed today.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 AD

Sweet! A Lutheran For Seven Years!

On 31OCT1999 (Reformation Sunday) I was officially confirmed into the Lutheran church. Rejoice with me!

I had my first communion with my fellow Lutherans at Grace Ev. Lutheran, in McPherson, KS, on that day. At that time, Kung Fu Master Jeff Williams, throughout the course of a year, had patiently answered my many questions about Lutheranism.

Now, Kung Fu Master Dumperth shepherds there and recently hosted Kung Fu Master Wohlrabe as speaker. Remember: Wohlrabe's the one that took on Matzat (weak Kung Fu), when Matzat condoned Benke's BS (even weaker Kung Fu) at Yankee Stadium or Oprah Fest - whichever you prefer to call it. BTW, you WELS readers: you're wrong about removing your chaplains from the military services. The military needs strong men, not those that run away.

Any way, one of the things I love about being a Lutheran, is that Lutherans have a proper balance of Law and Gospel. Some non-Lutherans have just Gospel which gives you that 'touchy feely' BS - reference 'Deathstar' or 'Jesus Last'. Still other non-Lutherans have just Law which always yields a 'What Would Jesus Do' mentality - again reference 'Deathstar' or 'Jesus Last'. Then you have variations of the Law-Gospel theme that almost always end in Law. My former non-Ludderan life was Law-Gospel-Law. It always ended with Law - a life of legalism.

Looking forward to another year!

Monday, October 30, 2006 AD

You Know My Plate Is Full...

...At school, at work and at home.

But every so often something "eats at me" and I break my busy routine and blog.

Hence, this post.

I've said this before here.

Now, another Lutheran clergyman forsakes his vows and goes East. I don't know Mr. Fenton and don't care to. He is a chicken-shit. Hopefully, the fall-out will be minimal.

He gives up a proper balance of Law and Gospel that Lutherans have for a life of Law in EO. Eastern Orthodoxy reminds me of my non-denominational charismatic past. A life of Law without knowing the sweetness of the Gospel.

Any way, I've got a plane to break, math proofs that need editing, and a wife to love.

Sunday, October 15, 2006 AD

Midwest Beerfest Is Fast Approaching...

...If you're in Wichita best get your ticket fast for the 6th Annual Midwest Beerfest.

This will be Dan the Geologist's and my fourth beerfest.

This will be Nick the Dick's and Jeff the Virgin of Fireworks second beerfest.

The Intolerant will be the noob - her first beerfest.

For the ritzy: there's a 'Sam Adams' beer diner. 5o bucks a head.
For the non-ritzy: the main beer sampling is Saturday, October 21, from 1300-1700.

Eat before you come! Stamina is the key.

Monday, October 09, 2006 AD

Compare and Contrast Time (Not For the Light Hearted)...

...This to that (especially this link).


Thursday, October 05, 2006 AD

Today We Celebrate My Wife's First Death...

...We celebrate her first baptism. We're trying to find out the Kung Fu Master that baptised her years ago.

Here's what our church (and synod) says about Holy Baptism: "What about Holy Baptism?" (downloads PDF)

Another great source:

Q: What is Baptism?

A: Baptism is not simple water only, but it is the water comprehended in God's command and connected with God's Word.

Q: Which is that word of God?

A: Christ, our Lord, says in the last chapter of Matthew: Go ye into all the world and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.

Q: What does Baptism give or profit?

A: It works forgiveness of sins, delivers from death and the devil, and gives eternal salvation to all who believe this, as the words and promises of God declare.

Q: Which are such words and promises of God?

A: Christ, our Lord, says in the last chapter of Mark: He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

Q: How can water do such great things?

A: It is not the water indeed that does them, but the word of God which is in and with the water, and faith, which trusts such word of God in the water. For without the word of God the water is simple water and no baptism. But with the word of God it is a baptism, that is, a gracious water of life and a washing of regeneration in the Holy Ghost, as St. Paul says, Titus, chapter three: By the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Ghost, which He shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ, our Savior, that, being justified by His grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a faithful saying.

Q: What does such baptizing with water signify?

A: It signifies that the old Adam in us should, by daily contrition and repentance, be drowned and die with all sins and evil lusts, and, again, a new man daily come forth and arise; who shall live before God in righteousness and purity forever.

Q: Where is this written?

A: St. Paul says Romans, chapter 6: We are buried with Christ by Baptism into death, that, like as He was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

Finally, I can't wait to teach this to our own kids.

Sunday, September 24, 2006 AD


...To this post. There are two more practices that these Lutherans think are "too Roman Catholic". These WEEKLY practices are so common to my family's life I take them for granted. Shame on me.

The first is called communion or the Eucharist or the Lord's Supper or Mass.

The second is called private confession and absolution

If you scorn these two, you're just scorning the free gifts of God for you. Get over your hangups - whether emotional or psychological. It's really not worth it.

Talk to your pastor and elders (I mean the ones that have penises) and insist its practice.

Thursday, September 21, 2006 AD

The Tank Motorcycle...

..."How Stuff Works" has a nice summary on this new RTV. It's a quick read (2 pages).

I think it may be a viable form of off-roading, though my reservation would be on balance - or at least until your speed is decent. Another would be too much open area of moving parts. We'll see...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006 AD

Cool Tracker...

...Right now, I'm tracking space shuttle Atlantis. Apparently, you can track almost anything in space with this site. Where's the space junk at?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 AD

He Aint No Amatuer of Beer...

...Or Lutheran theology. (Dr. Rev.) Kung Fu Grand Master Kurt Marquart died this morning. Our prayers to the surviving members of his family. He taught at Concordia Theological Seminary.

He was able to baptize his great grandson last night.

Lutherans are big on baptizing.

Thursday, September 14, 2006 AD

Smear Some Lutheran Doctrine On...

...Some nihilists - you get an LCMS church.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006 AD

Happy 26th Birtday To My Lovely Wife...

...I thank God for you. You're still my tangible peace, my unspeakable joy and my equal.

Sunday, September 10, 2006 AD

The Swedes in Lindsborg are Slackin'...

...I've had to change my link to the Dala Horse to a Wiki article on it. Try it! Click on the little Dala Horse to find out more Swedish history.

Thursday, September 07, 2006 AD

Speaking of Keeping Track of Things...

...My wife, Journalistic Jargon, and I, recently celebrated our 4th anniversary, the 31st of August. We celebrated over the Labor Day weekend in Lindsborg, Kansas or Little Sweden, USA. Check out her post to see what other things I did for her.

I'd like to add a few things.

First, of all, I planned the wedding out while soon-to-be Mrs. T. Swede, was completing an internship, in Ellis, Kansas.

Second, this was no small task. I did it while working the 3rd shift at Cessna Aircraft Company, when I was a flightline mechanic AND going to school at Wichita State.

Third, we cut costs by doing things ourselves. I made the wedding announcements, maps, registry cards. Soon-to-be Mrs. T. Swede found the bridesmaid dresses on sale at a store. She also made the wedding bouquets. Her grandmother made the lovely wedding dress (which I preserved for her.) Her parents pitched in on the material for the wedding dress and a DJ. My parents pitched in wedding flowers, time and money. My little sister, Lisa, couldn't make it. My littlest sister, Josie, made a gorgeous white fondue cake. My little brother, Jason, just showed up to be best man.

Finally, I provided the best thing: free alcohol - wine and beer. Free! (Get that, Nick? You don't make yer guests pay for the alcohol.)

UPDATE: Forgot one detail. We planned our wedding in less than 30 days. It is probable and not impossible.

Just call me: Super Swede.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006 AD

The Cantor Set (As Beautiful As It Is)...

...Is kicking my ass.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006 AD

My Hero's...

Some highlights...

David: Failed as a model after a sex scandal tape with socialite London Hyatt made him an international porn icon.

Fieldy: Won the first gold medal in Extreme Projectile Vomiting at the XGames with a record 12 meter hurl.

Munky (Snoop Dogg): Published a spiritual guide book "Herbal Life" which inspired a religious movement known as "Bud-ism"

Johnathan: His opus came when he wrote, directed and starred in the hit rock opera "Korn Hole," cementing his place in music history.

Update: Needed to establish a new link to the video.

Monday, September 04, 2006 AD

There Are Some Lutherans (LCMS and WELS) Who Say...

...Some of the good, right and salutory practices of the Lutheran church today (i.e., crucifixes, clergy wearing vestments, bowing, kneeling, making the sign of the cross, incense, the common cup, etc.) are too Roman Catholic.


You're never too Roman Catholic until you start sexually abusing little boys.

UPDATE: If the clog fits...

If Mrs. Swede Would Let Me...

...I could live off of bread and beer forever.


I Find This Wiki "How-To" Comical...

...My cursing and swearing is only a recent phenomenon. I never swore or cursed as a non-Lutheran - part of that works-righteousness/legalism bullshit. Most of the time I do it intentionally for shock: "The fucking-french are visiting our research lab! Oh, shit! Hide all the military projects from them pussies."

I suspect it will be curbed down when we have kids... Maybe.

Just a Friendly Reminder...

This is definitely what I want for Christmas or Easter.

Hat Tip: Sean the Kantor/Organist.

Keepin' Track Of Family and Friends Events...

...My naughty hottie and I have a Power Book G4. This is my first Mac and I love it; her n-th mac. I wish I knew more about Mac's but don't care to spend the time learning - I'd rather teach myself home-brewing beer. Anyway, one of the default products of Mac is i-Calendar. I was able to have different events for my wife, myself, our family and friends in different colors and filter which calendar we wanted to see. I thought it was good - but not great. I was not able to see the calendar from any location. Most locations have internet access school, work and home. We also were not satisfied by Yahoo and Outlook Web Access. I abhor MS products and I wish to some day spend some time learning the open-source shit that's out there.

I was one of those who was waiting for Google to make a calendar. It's out and in full running. Here's a primer of the Google calendar. It reminds of i-calendar because of the layout and colors. I can filter events and other calendars. We can even get reminders on our cell phone. Good shit.

Saturday, August 26, 2006 AD

Love Letters by Lutherans (Got A Tear) [MODIFIED]...

...This post deleted at the request of my beer buddy and his new wife. :P

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 AD

An Apology...

...To Dan the Geologist and The Intolerant.

I published their wedding date when I shouldn't have. They have forgiven me.

Sunday, August 20, 2006 AD

Dan the Geologist...

...won the poker game last night. I think I'm getting soft. Whatever.

Saturday, August 05, 2006 AD

My Wife's Meatloaf...

...Is the best. :)

Wednesday, July 19, 2006 AD

Another Place For My "I See Dumb People" T-Shirt Besides Union Picnics...

...Apparently, in some Lutheran circles, it would be appropriate attire.

Thursday, June 29, 2006 AD

My Anti-Union Sentiments...

...Come mainly from my fierce independency - do things on your own.

Here's a good site (suggested by my best friend - Dan the Geologist): Right To Work.

For Kansas (read brother-in-law, Nick the Dick) look here. Kansas is a right to work state.

When I worked at Cessna Aircraft Co. (my first civilian job, post-military), there was IAM (International Aerospace and Machinists) and IBEW (International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers). Resist the Borg!

My little brother and I refused to become a part of the unions there. We got the usual pressure and rhetoric, "But the Union got you your pay and benefits." Whatever - I choose to work there - if I didn't like the pay and benefits I'd work somewhere else - sort of like supply-and-demand and free market concepts.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 AD


My lovely bride of almost four years is very giddy. You can read it here. She is a joyful people person anyways (how I deserve her - I don't know) but she has a particular reason now. We are moving out of our 400 square foot apartment into one that is over 800 square feet. This is not including the garage. We kept this under twice our normal rent as well (including the garage).

But the best part for my wife would be opening all our wedding gifts that we had to put in storage due to lack of space. She loves it - all over again.

Here's our new apartment building number:

Here's our new apartment number:

Guy Stuff 1of2

Guy Stuff 2of2 - Power Tools

Sunday, June 18, 2006 AD

The Canadians and Beer...

...Now that I've got your attention, Pr. Klages of A Beggar At The Table is the latest host of Lutheran Carnival XXVI. Thank you for hosting, Pr. Klages.

Happy Father's Day! To The Best Dad in the Universe...

...This is an old picture (from our wedding in August 2002) but this is my adopted dad! He picked me up out of the mire of the Philippines. I wish I could do half the things he can do (pilot, navy crew chief, completed school with family of four kids, owns a Cessna 175, built his own camper, rebuilds engines for cars and trucks, can play ANY instrument - his favorite is the tuba or the oboe, can tune any instrument, co-created a portable GPS with FAA info for pilot navigation, worked for the FAA, worked for Beechcraft - now Raytheon, carpenter, son, husband and father.) He is the 'jack of all trades' and master of computer programming science security.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006 AD

For My Brother-in-Law, Nick the Dick...


No, I Won't Change My Mind in 40 Years...

...On abortion, women elders, and open communion. Also, I'm NOT your son.

Lutheran Carnival XXV Is Up and Running...

...At my wife's blog and this is the first time she is host. Please thank her for the time she put into it.

Sunday, June 04, 2006 AD

Conflict of Interest...

...I'm learning more about Lutheran church polity all the time. Here's a good example.

A pastor gets paid by the local congregation he serves.

The local congregation that supports the pastor differ on theological issues (women elders, abortion, open communion, etc.).

What does the pastor do?

If he confronts the local congregation and tells them to repent of their errors and they don't, could that affect his pay? As a young pastor this is critical (he may be supporting a family). As an old pastor he may be looking at a cut at his retirement.

If he allows the errors to continue, the pastor is being unfaithful to Scripture, the Lutheran confessions and his congregation.

I really don't know the answer: how does the church take care of it's pastors if the pastor and congregation don't agree?

How has the Lutheran church cared for it's pastors in the past? How has the Lutheran church removed the conflict of interest? Has it always been this way in the LCMS? American Lutheranism? Is German Lutheranism or Swedish Lutheranism different?

UPDATE: I forgot this possibility: An errant pastor and an errant congregation. This combo may be the deadliest because they are both comfortable in their sins - feeding each other incessantly - paying the pastor to tell them what they want to hear and the pastor not wanting to have his pay cut.

Again, I have no clue and seek answers.

Thursday, June 01, 2006 AD

If Luther Was Alive Today...

...Yeah - He'd be a redneck.