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Sunday, February 20, 2005 AD

A man that Dan & I highly respect gave this bit of wisdom...

..."NASCAR is homoerotic."

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3 Comments:

  • NASCAR is HETERO-erotic. (Except for Jeff Gordon who drives a rainbow car)

    The car is a phallic device. It is an extension of the man. It is long, hard, and filled with sticky liquid.

    When the guys wins, like Jeff Gordon (the fuck-stick pretty boy that I dislike) did a few minutes ago, the first thing you do is throw a few donuts in the infield and then park your car and grab your wife/girlfriend/random piece of gold-digging ass that loves you and is waiting in victory lane.

    Cars and ass, it doesn't get more hetero than that.

    By Blogger Nick, at 2/20/2005 5:37 PM  

  • Things guys do in NASCAR:

    Drive huge, loud cars with big engines. Get sponsored by beer companies. Pop open champagne and spray it everywhere after winning.

    Things guys do in the NBA:

    Touch each other's butts for "encouragement." Get their faces within inches of each others, so you can't tell if he's guarding or trying to get a make-out. Take showers with muscular, naked men. Big hugs after the game.

    Things guys do in the NFL:

    Wear tight, tight pants with crotch-emphasizing nad protectors. Touch each other butts for "encouragement." Jump in a big, writhing pile of guys in spandex. Take down the guy with the ball by putting your arms around his waist and your face in his ass. Take showers with muscular, naked men. Big hugs after the game.

    Things guys do in the MLB:

    Wear tight, tight pants with crotch-emphasizing nad protectors. Touch each other's butts for "encouragement." Wear white pants so that after a slide, your ass is especially highlighted. Take showers with muscular, naked men. Big hugs after the game.

    Which of the above sounds the least gay?

    By Blogger Josh S, at 2/20/2005 5:47 PM  

  • As much as Ron may in his twisted, beer-soaked mind attribute that quote to me, I said no such thing. I guess Ron just wants probation to be his permanent home.

    By Blogger RandomDan, at 2/21/2005 12:44 PM  

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