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Saturday, October 22, 2005 AD

My Resume (FWD Email)

My Resume

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ~ couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, ~ so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it ~ mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that ~ was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice too my life but ~ I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, ~ I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't ~ noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any ~ patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but ~ I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered ~ that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was ~ just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they ~ said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized ~ there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always ~ the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED ~ AND I FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

I got this from Virgin of Fireworks. I enjoy good puns.

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